Much like wedding etiquette, wedding shower etiquette has evolved quite a bit over the years, and this has to led to all kinds of wedding shower mishaps. Whether the faux pas was committed on behalf of the bride, the host, or the guest, wedding shower mishaps happen, and everyone has been guilty of breaking an etiquette rule or two.

Thankfully, a majority of wedding showers are very laidback. Even at some of the most formal wedding shower occasions, you’ll find that the atmosphere and expectations are fairly relaxed and festive. However, to ensure that you don’t fall victim to any etiquette no-nos, familiarize yourself with these common wedding shower mishaps and how to avoid them before you attend that next shower:

Not bringing a gift—One of the biggest wedding shower mishaps guests run in to stems from not knowing whether to bring a gift to both the wedding shower and the wedding. Without a doubt, it’s considered good etiquette to bring a gift to both occasions. The couple might have two separate registries for each occasion, or the bride-to-be might have a specific registry for the wedding shower only, so be sure to confirm this before you attend and buy a gift accordingly.

Inviting guests not listed on the bride-to-be’s guest list—Whether you’re the maid of honor, the grandmother, or a friend of the family, if you’re hosting a wedding shower, be sure to obtain a guest list from the bride. If the shower is going to be a surprise, speak to the bride’s family and obtain a guest list for the actual wedding, and then consult with them to see who on the list the bride would like to have at the shower. Don’t deviate from this list!

Not providing specific details with the invites—Whether you’re sending out invites for your own shower or sending them out as a host, make sure you provide as many details as possible. Indicate whether or not the shower is co-ed, and don’t forget to specify whether the guest can bring an additional guest, and if so, how many. Failure to provide this important information is one of the most common wedding shower mishaps.

Hosting a wedding shower is loads of fun, but it also involves financial responsibility that you might not have been prepared for when you volunteered or were asked to play host. Fortunately, there are plenty of options for throwing a stylish, fun shower that is affordable and that caters toward the bride, but there is no way around the fact that there will be expenses coming straight out of your own pocket. Whether you’re planning a small, intimate shower or a larger, more formal affair, use these wedding shower planning tips to save some cash in the process:

Call on help—One of the best things you can do to save money when planning a wedding shower is to call on help from another friend of the bride or a close family member. See if someone is willing to team up and play co-host. In most cases, the maid of honor or bridesmaids throw the wedding shower. Whether you’re a part of the bridal party or not, consider getting together with someone from the bridal party to plan the shower together and split the expenses.

Go bulk—Another easy way to save a few bucks when planning a wedding shower is to buy the favors in bulk. This is especially beneficial if you have a large guest list to tend to. Buying wedding shower favors in bulk allows you to spend less on each favor and get more for your money. Wedding shower favors might be small details in the grand scheme of things, but the expense adds up and definitely makes a difference in the overall shower-planning price tag.

Be careful with catering—Catering is perhaps the most expensive part of planning a wedding shower. Whether you’re using on-site catering at a restaurant venue or ordering out to serve the food at someone’s home, your food bill will likely be the largest expense on your list. Find ways to cut back or compromise, such as hiring a close friend or family member to cook or choosing less expensive course options from the menu.

Wedding shower planning tips such as these will help you plan a memorable occasion without draining your bank account dry.

Planning a wedding shower is no simple feat, regardless of how large or small the guest list is. There are so many factors to consider when you begin planning, including the allotted budget you have (or don’t have!) to work with, the time of year, assembling a proper guest list, and more. With the many tasks to keep track of, it’s easy to lose sight of basic necessities or to let traditional wedding shower etiquette fly out the window.

To put together a flawless occasion and to avoid a planning faux pas, keep the following wedding shower planning tips in mind:

Don’t invite just anyone—The wedding shower guest list is one of the most important aspects you’ll be in charge of during the planning process. It’s really important to only invite guests you know the bride-to-be would want at her shower and at her wedding, too, since anyone invited to the shower should also be invited to the actual wedding. Do this by sitting down with the bride to thoroughly discuss the guest list, or if the wedding shower is a surprise, be sure to get a proper list from her parent or close friend of the family.

Book a venue that is right for the bride—Every aspect of the wedding shower should cater to the bride’s personality and preferences, not your own. This is especially the case when it comes to the location of the wedding shower. Be sure to do your homework and shop around for a location that the bride will enjoy and one that will make her comfortable for her special occasion.

Look for a package deal—If you’re like most people, you’ll be working on a limited budget when planning your friend’s wedding shower. To make sure you secure all of the necessary details for the occasion and that you keep your bank account in check, search for locations that make the planning process easier. For example, many restaurant locations offer to arrange the catering and live music for you, saving you both time and money when planning the wedding shower.

Have you recently taken on the responsibility of being a wedding shower host? If you’re about to embark on planning a wedding shower for a friend or family member, you have a lot of work ahead of you. However, although the planning process is time-consuming and multifaceted, a majority of the planning can be taken care of with a few key foundational tasks.

Complete the following tasks to get a good handle on the wedding shower planning process:

Talk to the bride-to-be or a close friend of the family. This is the first and most important step. Be sure to talk to the bride or if the shower is a surprise, to another close family member or friend, to find out what the bride-to-be would prefer for the occasion. Does she want something small and intimate? What type of venue would she prefer? Find answers to these questions and more before you start making plans.

Select a venue—Once you have an idea of what the bride would like and what would suit her personality, get to work on securing a venue. Keep in mind that many restaurants and resorts cater to occasions such as wedding showers and will be able to accommodate a number of guests as well as the catering.

Hire a caterer—If the venue you choose does not offer on-site catering, consider using the same caterer who is servicing the wedding, or order catering from the bride’s favorite restaurant.

Order and send out the invites—Order and send out the invites early. This is another example of why it’s important to know what the bride wants beforehand. You don’t want to forget anyone important or end up inviting someone she doesn’t want to attend.

Specify the gift-giving process—Speaking of the bridal shower invitations, be sure to include gift registry information (if the bride and groom have specified that they are using one) or indicate what kinds of gifts guests should bring. Do keep in mind that it is considered proper etiquette to give two separate gifts—one for the wedding shower and one for the actual wedding.

Now that you have a basic wedding shower host planning checklist, it’s time to get to work!

Chances are you won’t have to search long or hard for wedding shower gift ideas for that upcoming wedding shower you’re attending. It’s likely that the bride-to-be has registered with a certain department store or honeymoon registry with a list of items all picked out. All you’ll have to do is simply select a gift item the bride or couple has requested.

However, many bridal registries are reserved for the actual wedding day, and it’s considered proper wedding shower etiquette to buy a gift for both the shower and the actual wedding event. Whatever the circumstance, if you find yourself in need of some wedding shower gift ideas, we have some suggestions that win will any bride over.

Gift cards. They are not as fun to give as full-size presents you can wrap, but gift cards for the bride-to-be for her favorite spa or home goods store are great options for giving her something she can use before or after her wedding day. Ask around and get ideas from her close friends and family members to find out which stores she likes or what she needs for the home.

Homemade keepsakes for the home. Whether the bride is moving into a new place with her spouse or staying put, chances are she’ll appreciate some new items for the house after the wedding. If you aren’t sure of her decor preferences or favorite style, consider mixing personal sentiment with classic decor by gifting her with a homemade keepsake of some sort. For example, a personalized photo frame or candle fixture is a thoughtful wedding shower gift idea.

Honeymoon extras. Many brides are choosing honeymoon registries for their wedding showers and wedding occasions, allowing guests to contribute to the honeymoon expenses. Whether the bride has one of these in place or not, you can still consider gifting her with honeymoon extras, such as funds for a specific need or even a sexy swimsuit or nightgown. Wedding shower gift ideas such as these are classic and will win any bride over.

Receiving gifts at your bridal shower can be a lot of fun, but it can also be awkward and embarrassing. Learn how to navigate the gift-receiving process and make the most of your time with your family and friends with these simple and easy tips for receiving gifts at your bridal shower.

Problem: You’re shy about receiving gifts.

Solution: You can’t really get out of receiving gifts at your bridal shower, but you can take some of the attention off of yourself by getting your guests to focus on something else. During the gift-opening, pass around a “Words of Wisdom” book for your friends and family to fill out, or pass gifts around for guests to look at. These are all easy and creative ways to make receiving gifts at your bridal shower a little more bearable.

Problem: Someone gives you a honeymoon item that might give your grandma Gertrude a heart attack.

Solution: If it’s lingerie that you’re worried about, you might be surprised at how well granny Gertrude does with this. Lingerie has been around since before you were born and the likelihood is that your grandma received something that at least slightly resembles your gift at her bridal shower!

However, if someone gives you a racier gift, then you can still let the gift-giver know you appreciate it without giving granny a coronary. When receiving gifts at your bridal shower such as these, leave the item in the box and come up with a pun that will cue guests about the contents without embarrassing anyone.

Problem: Can’t keep track of the gifts or you have many to open.

Solution: Ask your maid of honor to write down all of the gifts you receive along with the gift-giver on a piece of paper. Then, ask your bridesmaids to help you take things like tape and bows off of the gifts beforehand or to keep the cards with the gifts after they are opened. These tips for receiving gifts at your bridal shower will make it easier to send out “thank you” cards.

Every wedding shower host wants to put together an unforgettable occasion, especially if they are the maid of honor or a close friend or family member of the bride. If you find yourself with the responsibility to create a wedding shower that will garner lots of great gifts for the bride and good fun for the guests, follow these tips to make sure your occasion is a hit:

Pick the right location—A great wedding shower always begins with the perfect location. Whether you choose a spa, the bride’s favorite restaurant, or a venue that will take care of catering and live music, finding a location that suits the mood you want to create and the bride’s personality is key for throwing a successful wedding shower.

Be specific—Another important part of planning a killer wedding shower is to be specific with the guests so that they know exactly what the occasion is about from the get-go. For example, make sure you have the bride’s registry information and that the guests are aware of the registry details in the wedding shower invites. This gives everyone the chance to get a feel for the bride and her style, and it ensures that the bride will get the gifts she most desires. Also be sure to have the exact headcount and names for your guest list. If the wedding shower will be a surprise, get together with the bride’s parents or a close friend to compile a proper guest list.

Consider going co-ed—Co-ed showers have been popular for some time now, but they are especially growing in popularity as times goes on for a number of reasons. First, it helps to create a variety of guests so that everyone can mix and mingle and meet new people, and it also opens up a great opportunity for the guys to be sociable with one another while the girls have their girl time together. This creates a fun atmosphere and gets couples and singles talking. It’s an easy way to create a wedding shower that no one will want to miss.

Shopping for bridal shower favors, check out this great post.

Whether you’re about to attend a wedding shower or you are hosting one for a good friend, there are some things you just shouldn’t do—ever. Wedding shower etiquette is important because it impacts everyone who is attending, and most importantly, the bride.

While some wedding shower etiquette has evolved over the years and many traditional rules no longer apply, there are still some don’ts that you should be aware of that still generally stand. They all boil down to good manners and common sense.

Invite someone without asking first—This should be a no-brainer, but sadly, there are many wedding shower guests who find themselves bringing an uninvited guest anyway. Even if the shower is going to be small or if you are very close to the bride, don’t assume you’re automatically entitled to bring whoever you’d like. This can be an inconvenience to the maid of honor or the person hosting the shower, who is likely financially responsible for the catering and other elements.

Assume your gift is also a wedding gift—Just because you bring a gift to the wedding shower doesn’t mean you don’t have to buy a wedding gift as well. Ideally, you should give a smaller, less expensive gift at the wedding shower and reserve the main gift for the actual wedding day. This avoids the need to spend a lot of money for both the shower and the wedding day, and it also prevents you from accidentally staging up the other wedding shower guests with an elaborate gift.

Use the shower as a personal Q&A session—There’s nothing wrong with talking to the bride-to-be about the wedding day at the shower, but don’t corner her and bog her down with nothing but wedding-day related talk, especially if that talk centers around questions you have. Reserve questions for what you should wear, what you should bring, what time you should get there, etc. for a chat on the phone or ask one of her bridesmaids before the occasion. Let the bride enjoy her wedding shower and refrain from wearing her out with loads of wedding talk.

Whether you’re planning on attending a wedding shower in the near future or you have taken on the responsibility to host one for a friend or family member, you may have many questions about common wedding shower etiquette. From the gift giving to the catering, there are plenty of traditional rules and practices that are frowned upon at wedding showers, and some that are simply expected. These traditions can cause some confusion amongst the guests and the hosts alike. Keep in mind, depending on the size and formality of the occasion, wedding shower etiquette can vary. Not all of these questions or answers will apply to every single shower, but they are good to know just in case.

Should the host get the bride a gift?—This is one of the first questions a host typically asks. Even if you are throwing the shower, it’s still considered proper etiquette to get the bride-to-be a gift. If funds are an issue after footing the bill for the shower, you can opt to give her a smaller, less extravagant gift, but do plan on gifting her with something either way.

When is the proper time to open gifts?—Ideally, the bride should open her gifts before or after the food is served, but never during the actual meal. It may be appropriate to open gifts if guests are seated and served small appetizers or finger foods, but keep in mind that the bride won’t have everyone’s full attention.

How do I know which gifts are appropriate?—Traditionally, appropriate gifts for a wedding shower include those that can be used for the couple’s new home. This is why it is wise to stick to the bride’s wedding registry and choose a gift based on the requests she’s listed.

Who should compile the guest list?—It is customary for the host to ask for a guest list from the bride. The bride should decide who and who doesn’t attend, especially since the event is being thrown in her honor! If you plan on surprising her, try to get one from a close relative or friend of the family. Do keep in mind that it is perfectly acceptable to host a co-ed wedding shower as well.

Whether you’re planning a wedding shower for a friend or family member or you have decided to plan your own, tips for choosing the right wedding shower caterer can help ensure you get exactly what you’re looking for when it comes to your shower’s dining experience. Most wedding shower occasions are very informal and relaxed as far as food is concerned, but that doesn’t mean you should cut corners with the food. Whether you’re hosting lunch, brunch, or a full dinner, the catering is important. Other than playing games and opening gifts, sharing a meal or finger foods together will be one of the main components of the party.

As you plan your wedding shower, keep the following tips in mind if you want to choose the right caterer for your event:

Know what kind of shower you want—One of the main keys to picking the perfect caterer is to know what kind of shower you’d like before you begin making any decisions. Do you want a low-key event with simple finger foods? Would you prefer a full-blown formal affair with a large guest list? Iron out these details before you start looking at caterers. This will help with the process of elimination.

Decide whether the shower will be held at a restaurant—Many wedding showers are hosted at restaurants. This serves two great functions: a place to gather and chat and a place to be served individually. If you’d prefer to have a waiter on hand and a full menu for your guests to choose from, you can host the shower at a special restaurant and work with that specific venue’s chef or in-house caterer.

Choose a caterer that will match the tone of the shower—If you’re having a beach-themed shower, choose a caterer who specializes in seafood or pick someone who can provide you with fresh Caribbean cuisine. Choosing food that complements the tone and theme of the event is an important part of selecting the right wedding shower caterer.